The Call
by AutumnSunLight
Summary: "It started out as a feeling..."  Susan has spent a year and half missing Caspian and trying to come to terms with Aslan's decision to send Peter and herself back permanently. When the family is reunited and promptly lands back in Narnia, what will happen
1. Forgetting

Synopsis-

"It started out as a feeling..."

Susan has spent a year and half missing Caspian and trying to come to terms with Aslan's decision to send Peter and herself back permanently. When the family is reunited and promptly lands back in Narnia, what will happen?

"Now we're back at the beginning, it's a feeling and no one knows yet…"

_A/N: Although I wasn't thrilled with the deviation from the books when the movie first came out, I've come to love Susan and Caspian together. And I started to wonder, what would have happened if Lewis _had _put them together? So I decided to see if I could find out. _

_This story will be a mix of book traits and ideals along with the movie's storyline, by which I hope to keep the integrity and richness of Lewis' beloved Narnian tales and the possibilities left open to us by the film makers. The title and some, if not all, chapter titles come from the song _The Call_ at the end of _Prince Caspian_. _

Susan POV:

_"It wouldn't have worked out anyway. I _am _thirteen hundred years older than you."_

The words, said to comfort my breaking heart as I said goodbye came back to haunt me once again. It has been a year and a half since Peter and I have been to Narnia, and six months since Edmund and Lucy came back from the _Dawn Treader_ voyage. Normally I can push Caspian to the back of my mind, but Peter and I just picked the younger ones up from the port, and watching them drift to sleep, the steady rocking motion of the train lulling their tired bodies to rest, makes it hard to forget. Lucy's cheeks are still a bit pinker than normal from the Narnian air, even after the transatlantic trip, and neither one of them could keep quiet about all that had happened, never mind that they'd already written it all in our letters.

Lucy mentioning that Caspian is still lacking a queen just about sent my heart out of my chest, especially after Ed gaged and complained about his sentimentality, explaining that he'd said he couldn't find anyone to "equal your sister." While I hadn't tried to move on by finding a suitor, I had continued my life, and hoped Caspian could find a way to be happy too. Aslan had said we weren't coming back, and the sooner I dealt with that reality, the better; Even if my heart wouldn't allow me to move on with another man. I would have been tempted to believe Narnia was simply a beautiful dream, or carefully crafted fantasy we'd all cooked up in Professor Digory's wardrobe, but the pain I felt was as real and stabbing as the time I'd slit my hand with a knife peeling potatoes in the kitchen. As easy as it could have been to trust it all a delusion, I knew Caspian, and the agony of being separated, was as real as Pete and I, as real as Ed and Lu. I'd fallen for him faster than I ever thought you could fall for someone. He was just so _good_. He reminded me of the best parts of my brothers in that way. And then he'd come riding in and saved me after I'd sent Lucy off. That had really been my undoing. It was hard to believe how short a time we'd had left in Narnia after that. I couldn't help wondering what would have happened if we could have stayed. I could feel the tears threatening, and glanced over at Peter, who was cradling Lu's sleeping body carefully and smiled ruefully. He grimaced back. He knew my pain better than anyone, since the younger ones had been with our Aunt and Uncle and I couldn't very well tell Mum or Dad what was bothering me. Thus, it had fallen to Pete to soothe my tears and aching heart more than once.

Ed's head slipped onto my shoulder as the train lurched. Then a metallic shrieking sound filled the air as the train jostled again. Ed popped off my shoulder, startled, as Peter braced his feet on the floor and tightened his hold on Lucy. Smoke filled the air, and I clutch at Ed as sounds of terror begin.

Heat comes rushing at us…

As quickly as it began, it is over. The smoke clears, and we are sitting on a pier, looking up at a restored Cair Paravel. The air is cool. Pete and Lu are across the way, just as they were moments before on the train. Lucy takes one look around and shrieks with glee, while Edmund, Peter and I share confused glances.


	2. Memories Grow Stronger

Chapter two: Memories Grow Stronger-Caspian POV

I woke with a start. The dream I had just been jolted from had been so real I would have sworn my bed hangings were the dream and it had been reality. Susan had been on a train with Peter and the others, and then something had gone horribly wrong. I tried to steady my breathing, which was coming in quick gasps.

There'd be no sleep now, not with those images filling my mind, and dawn's pink haze was beginning to tint the horizon, anyway. I dressed and headed for the beach, detouring through the kitchens for a pastry. Normally I was drawn to the lush gardens, not the beach. I knew it was the place the Pevensie's had come through the last time they'd all come to Narnia, and after finding myself hoping to stumble upon them on more than one occasion, had left the beach alone. Living in Cair Paravel was enough.

But this morning I was inexplicably drawn to the waves and sand, and set off as the sun broke the horizon to my right.

It was hard to believe it had been three years already since she'd stepped through the portal and out of my life. When Ed and Lu had appeared in the water by the _Dawn Treader_ a year ago I'd been overjoyed, and having Susan's siblings, who I had come to consider my own, along for the voyage had been a delight, but when they left I'd found myself yearning for Susan more than ever. I still couldn't believe that'd _she'd_ kissed _me_. It wasn't something I'd expected out of the Gentle Queen. Fierce though she was in battle and protecting her family, she was not impulsive. Everything was carefully planned and considered, and if it wasn't, she scorned it. I was pretty sure I hadn't been part of any plans of hers in their world.

But she had become part of my plans. In the short time we'd spent together I had, almost without my noticing it, added her into every choice, every decision about my future. _Our _future, I'd hoped. Even if, by Telmarine standards I should have married and begun trying to produce an heir by now (My Narian council members had been strangely quiet on the matter), and she is just a dream, I cannot help but wonder what could have been. And wish for it. I still do not understand why Aslan chose to return them to their world when he did. And now Ed and Lu were lost to Narnia too. I wasn't sure how I'd manage without ever seeing _any_ of them again.

I glanced towards the pier that had been constructed for the _Dawn Treader_, planning to scan the beach ahead. Instead, my eyes stuttered over several shapes, too far away to make out much more than their number, four. I felt my pace picking up, almost without thought, and watched the figures. One separated itself from the others and hurled down the pier towards the beach. I detachedly realized I was running several seconds before I was hit with a slim body with more force behind it than it should have had.

"Lu?" I breathed, hardly able to form a thought.

"Caspian, I've missed you!" she told my chest, arms locked around me. I glanced over her head and saw the other three figures making their way towards us. Peter and Edmund. And, walking nonchalantly along the beach outside Cair Paravel, in a decidedly Narnian dress the color of the ocean was…

My heart began to slam in my chest.

_Susan._


	3. Back to the Beginning

Chapter three-Back to the Beginning:

Susan POV:

"What on earth?" I breathed, looking around at beach, Cair Paravel and the ocean, where the sun was just rising. None of us were in our normal clothes, but rather Narnian garb. Pete and Ed looked as confused as I felt, but Lu didn't let the strangeness dampen her spirits. She popped up from beside Peter and twirled in a circle, laughing, before stopping abruptly and dashing down the pier, squealing with excitement. I glanced down the beach to see what she was racing towards, then heard myself give a little yelp, much like Lucy just had. _Caspian_. He was down the beach some, and details were hard to make out, but I recognized his stride and his hair.

Beside me Edmund whooped, and took off down the pier after our sister. Peter got up too, but waited for me to stand. I sat and looked at my hands shaking until he walked over and pulled me up. I stumbled, and he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Come on. It'll be fine. You've been missing him for ages; he'll be close enough to touch in a minute. _Smile_, Su!" Peter coaxed as he walked me down towards the beach.

I stumbled again, my legs turning to jelly. "Pete, we've been gone for years. I told him _it would never have worked_ and then left! What do you think he's going to think now that I come waltzing back in for Aslan-only-knows how long? And who knows how long it's been since Lu and Ed were here, he might be married by now! Even if he's not, I can't expect-"

Peter cut me off. "Listen, we're almost there. So put a smile on, and see what happens. We have to be back here for a reason, so…just suspend your logic for a bit, okay?" he smiled encouragingly, kissed my cheek and let go of my waist. I grabbed at his hand and he laughed, but gave it to me. And just like that, my worries eased. They were still there, but I was on a beautiful Narnian beach at sunrise with one brother by my side and our two siblings next to our best friend ten meters in front of us. It was more than I'd had in months and months and months, so I would be grateful for this moment, because we could go back to America at any moment, and Caspian could announce his betrothal or marriage or impending fatherhood any second, and hey, right now isn't _so bad_ after all!

So I arrived laughing in front of Caspian, and cautiously peeked up into his face. The bored, even annoyed, indifference I felt around every boy or man who glanced my way was replaced by a shyness I was unfamiliar with as I felt my cheeks heat with a blush. Lucy was tucked under his arm, and alternating gazing up at him like she had Pete just hours before, peering around the beach and impulsively hugging him in apparent rapture at being back. Peter reached forward and clasped hands with him, I vaguely heard greetings over the pounding of my pulse, then I was being nudged towards him while my hand was disentangled from Pete's.

I felt a smile start to spread across my face when he looked at me.

"Su-" he cut himself off and started again. "Queen Susan. I am…surprised to see you again." I cringed. Was he remembering my dissuasion from the last time I'd seen him? Of course, it had been weak at best since I hadn't made it a meter before spinning around and kissing him. My blush deepened as I recalled one of the few large, impulsive gestures I'd ever made. He was still staring at me. Oh! I was supposed to speak now.

"And I you. But it is good to see you again, King Caspian."

We stood there staring like fools for several seconds until he cleared his throat.

"Shall we head back to Cair Paravel?" he asked politely. The boys nodded, and Ed asked if there was more of whatever had left powdered sugar on Caspian's hand. He laughed merrily and informed him that there might be.

Lucy wriggled out from under his arm and came to stand by me as we made our way up towards the castle. "Susan! What's wrong?" Lucy whispered quieter than I'd ever heard her manage before.

"What do you mean?"

"You're so stiff! And so is he! He's _missed_ you Su, for years. I saw it in his eyes on the _Dawn Treader_ and I saw it just now when he caught sight of you."

I sighed and shook my head a bit, less at Lucy and more at the strangeness of being back, with the ocean at my back and the wind teasing my hair and Cair Paravel restored in front of me. I had given up all hope of ever feeling these things again. Narnia felt more like home than England or America, even the wars were better, simpler. I'd felt I would break in our world, with the Nazis and all their horrible wartime tactics, and they were just the beginning! Everywhere you turned on Earth there were evils, horrible men and battles large and small, with both archaic and modern methods. Even when we were at war in Narnia I didn't feel so claustrophobic about it all, like there was nothing that could be done and the whole world might collapse any second.

"We restored the entire thing based off of journal entries we found, and old maps and such," Caspian was explaining, a bit up the path we had just set foot on. The boys nodded their heads sagely and I almost laughed before it reminded me forcefully of how we'd all been during the Golden Age. Adults. Really, truly adults, not just barely bordering on it the way Pete and I were now, in our world. "We left the chambers that you all used, because they were restoring it while we were on the _Dawn Treader_ voyage and I had hoped Edmund and Lucy would come back to Narnia, and I thought your old rooms might be appreciated. And it didn't seem right to leave only two of the four chambers from the Kings and Queens of Old. So we restored and refurbished all of them, down to the decorations. I didn't have the heart to cease the effort on them once I returned from the voyage."

Lucy grinned impertinently at me and ran up to Caspian's side. "Well, that was lucky, then, wasn't it?"

"Yes, very lucky indeed." He agreed, smiling down at her before casting a glance back down the path at me.

"How long have we been gone this time?" Ed asked, peering at the gleaming buildings we were approaching.

Caspian answered with a sigh. "One year."

"And Narnia is still at peace?" Edmund inquired.

"Yes, it's still peacetime here." He stated, and then gave voice to the question we were all mulling over. "I'm not sure why you're back."

"Did anything _interesting_ happen while we were gone?" Lu asked, smiling deviously up at him before throwing a wink over her shoulder at me.

"Not really. We sailed back, and arrived about eight months ago. Cair Paravel was finished six months ago, and since then…nothing much. Trumpkin mumbles about you once in a while when he thinks no one's listening and more often when he does; the mice aren't quite the same without Reepicheep…

"We are trying to rebuild what my ancestors destroyed, and that takes a good deal of time. Trust has to be built back up with some of the shyer races. And everyone misses the Kings and Queens of Old." He said the last bit loudly as he opened the door to the kitchens, and the creatures inside immediately froze. Then there was a clamor as they greeted us, and Ed got the powdered sugar covered treat he'd been inquiring after.

The boys were soon settled at a table in the center of the hubbub, happily eating a second breakfast. It had been mid-afternoon when we'd left our world, and only two hours since lunch, but that wasn't about to stop Pete and Ed. "Lu?"

"Yes?" Lucy said, looking up from fiddling with the skirt of her dress.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, grinning.

"Nope." She said cheerfully, perking up at the look on my face.

"Let's go take a look around then. I want to see if it's really the same." I suggested. The truth of the matter was, I couldn't have been more shocked to be back in Narnia and after eighteen months of telling myself I'd never see him again, sitting there looking at Caspian talking to our brothers was making my head spin. I hadn't had a thought about him that got past the wall I'd built up around the what-ifs of our short relationship. He'd been here and I hadn't been, so I'd done my best to shut it all off, even if I couldn't move one. So suddenly being thrown back into Narnia and given an intermediate amount of time with him was quite a lot to process. At least in the rest of Cair Paravel, if they'd done as good a job as he thought they had, I could pretend that it was still the Golden Age and take a few hours to get used to the idea before confronted with his thick Telmarine accent and suddenly mature appearance.

"Oh, yes, let's!" Lucy bounced a bit in her seat before getting up and heading for the door. She had seemed more grown-up to me when we'd picked them up from the port, but returning to Narnia seemed to have reawakened the child still lurking beneath the surface.

Edmund was next to me and I touched his arm to let him know we were going. No response. I poked him. Still nothing. I pinched a small bit of skin between two nails and he jumped half out of his chair. "What?" he yelped, rubbing his arm and smearing jam on the sleeve. By now Pete and Caspian were also looking our way and Lu was hanging half in, half out of the door to the hallway. "Lu and I are going to go look around. I figured once you came up for air you'd wonder where we'd gotten off to." Ed sighed dramatically but nodded.

"Head down to the smithy's workshops at some point, Trumpkin has been training some younger Dwarves down there and he'd love to see you." Caspian said. His eyes were warm on me, and I felt myself blush again. I nodded and headed for the door.

As we wandered around, I rolled the thought of him around in my mind. We'd spent such a long time in Narnia the first time we came that last time it hadn't occurred to me it might only be weeks. Caspian and I had done the whole song and dance of does-he or doesn't-he, does-she or doesn't-she; the glances and quiet words. And then, once we'd actually moved past that, I'd left. I'd thought we had all the time in the world to flirt around the idea of being together before actually seriously figuring it out. To just take this one thing in my life as it came, slowly, and without a set plan.

Now it felt like we were right back at the beginning. He was a man now, and not quite so close in age to me. He'd had twice the time away from me as I'd had away from him. It was just a feeling again, and no one knew.


	4. Everything's Changing

The Call

Chapter Four-Everything's Changing: Susan

One night after dinner when we'd been back in Narnia almost a week I wandered down to the gardens by myself. The castle was buzzing with preparations for a ball "celebrating the return of the Kings and Queens of Old", as a particularly excitable Dwarf had put it, and while I was looking forward to it in a way, the busyness from preparations combined with council meetings and audiences had meant that Caspian and I hadn't spoken privately once. Every meal we'd sit across the table from each other, and every time I tried to nonchalantly glance at whichever sibling was next to him my eyes would stutter over him and stick to his gaze.

We'd spoken a little, pleasantries and catching up on news, but with no clue why we were here or for how long, I didn't want to put my heart on the line any more than it already was, and the feeling stuck my tongue to the roof of my mouth. Caspian, for his part, was cordial but reserved, although I kept glancing up to find his eyes on me.

I sat on a bench in the citrus orchard and sighed heavily. I was at my wits end already, at less than a week. I just couldn't take this limbo we were in, waiting for…what? Lucy, and later Edmund, had always been the quickest to call on Aslan, found reaching out for Him the easiest, while I felt the need to figure things out on my own. But that had ended in devastation last time.

"Aslan, why are we here?" I mumbled. "What's the point?" My voice was rising, but I didn't care. "Am I going to fall for him even harder, before we get yanked apart again?" A strangled sound came out of my throat and I bit back a sob before giving in to the tears.

A twig snapped next to the bench, and suddenly the birds and crickets quieted. "Dear one." Aslan's deep, rich voice washed over me. I peeked up at Him hesitantly as a cool breeze blew.

"Aslan." I felt small, and a bit ashamed of my outburst.

"I'm sorry you're hurting dear one. None of this has been easy," Aslan said, coming to stand in front of me. "I had hoped that you could all come to your own conclusions and find peace, but I cannot bear to watch you wounded anymore."

"We don't understand why we're back…and I don't know what to do with Caspian while we're in limbo here." I tentatively reached a hand up and buried it in His mane.

"I know dear one. There was an accident in your world, with the train you and your sister and brothers were riding on." He paused for a moment, allowing me to take this information in.

"So the smoke and such wasn't from us coming to Narnia?" I was confused. Things were always strange when we traveled through. We'd just assumed…

"No little one. The casualties were immense," His eyes softened even more, if that was possible. "There were no survivors." He pushed against my hand, and suddenly my arms were around his neck, head hidden in his ruff. "I'm sorry. You and your siblings had learned what you needed to in order to live in your world, and your lives were meant to be spent there. But sometimes things don't go according to plan.

"That is why you're all back here. You and your siblings will live out your lives in Narnia, and then come Home to my Country."

"Susan!" a heavily accented voice called through the trees.

"I will always be here when you need me…try to find peace, dear one." The trees shook and citrus blossoms showered down, momentarily making it seem as though it was snowing. When the last of the blossoms cleared, Aslan was gone and Caspian rounded a bend in the path and came into view.

_A/N: What did you guys think? Did you see it coming? Was Aslan realistic? Let me know! Big thanks to my first four reviewers- Sunshine, Jocelyn, cavlik97 and LadyElena17 :) _


	5. A Hope

Chapter Five-A Hope: Caspian

"Susan!" I called, trying to find her in the immense gardens. When she had disappeared after dinner Lucy had cheerfully informed me I should go find her and suggested I start with the orchards, as apparently she had sought solace in them often during the Golden Age. I heard the murmur of voices, and then a great gust of wind blew through the citrus grove and shook an abundant amount of blossoms to the ground.

I rounded a bend in the path and saw Susan sitting on a bench under a tangerine tree, shoulders shaking as though the weight of the world was laying on them. As I approached she glanced up and immediately started feverishly swiping her hands over her cheeks.

"May I?" I inquired, gesturing to the spot on the bench next to her. She nodded, before raising a shaking hand to smooth her hair back. "Wha-" my voice cracked. I cleared my throat and tried again. "What is wrong? Has someone done something? " It broke my heart to see her so upset, and I would have given anything to put an arm around her trembling shoulders. But Susan hadn't encouraged any advances over the last six days and when she was upset wasn't the time to press the issue.

"No one did anything; not here at least." I felt my eyebrows knit in confusion. "Aslan was here. I couldn't take the waiting and wondering, so I called for Him. And He came!" The look of surprise and shock on her face would have been comical if she hadn't been to pale and drawn. As quickly as it came it was gone, replaced by a frown. Her brows knit as she said "He told me why we're here." Another sob hiccupped out of her and she pressed a quaking hand to her mouth. "I need to go find the others. Do you know where they are?"

"I left them in the parlor connecting your suites. Lu told me to come find you."

"Oh. Thank you." She said, and then stood and wandered back up the path as though she was dizzy. Once inside I made to go to my rooms, when a small hand shot out and grabbed my arm. "Where are you going?" she asked, her pale face staring up at me in bewilderment.

I'd meant it as a statement, but my voice rose at the end in a question, "To my rooms?"

"You…don't want to be there when I tell the others?" she questioned forlornly. She appeared, in that moment, pale and confused, big blue eyes staring up at me, more vulnerable and yet beautiful than I'd ever seen her. "I'll come, if you want." She nodded feebly. "I just thought maybe it was a family thing, and you might like some privacy." She smiled wanly at me as we began walking again.

"Caspian. You're part of the family." She shook her head at me and smiled again, less shaky this time.

She seemed to steady as she opened the door, and as she walked in the exposed, frightened girl was replaced by the woman who had helped usher in Narnia's Golden Age over a thousand years before. Outwardly, her moment of weakness was gone.

Her siblings were not fooled, however. Lucy jumped up and darted over, hands fluttering madly around her shoulders. Peter stood abruptly, inquiring "By Jove, what happened Su?" Edmund reacted perhaps the least radically, at least physically. He looked up from the chess board he and Peter had been leaning over seconds before, hand still poised over a chess piece, and asked mildly, "Who shall I beat up?"

Once Susan had sat down, sandwiched between Lucy and Peter, she drew and deep breath and said in a rush, "I saw Aslan."

Silence reigned for a full fifteen seconds before everyone began talking at once.

Lucy exclaimed "Oh, and I missed him!"

"Did he say why we're back?" Peter wanted to know.

Edmund was having trouble with complete sentences and only managed "Why…where…I don't…Aslan, huh?"

Once the peace had been restored Susan continued, choosing to answer Peter's query. "He told me why we're in Narnia again."

Peter and Edmund heaved great sighs of relief, I knew from talking to them that they felt the need to _do _something,_ anything,_ since they were here, and the sitting around party planning was making them feel useless. Lu grinned and looked at her sister expectantly.

"He said…that the train we were on had an accident. He didn't say what happened…just that no one survived."

You could have heard a pin drop. I didn't know what to think. Had they survived by coming through to Narnia before the situation became fatal? Were they ghosts? The others were gaping at Susan in disbelief.

"The smoke and such…it wasn't from us coming through. It was from the train. We…we won't be going back. Aslan said we're to live out our lives here, and then go to His Country."

Lucy's eyes looked like they were about to bug out of her head at this point, while Ed and Pete were simply staring around the room like they'd never seen it before.

They were _staying_. I tested out the idea in my mind, rolled the word and its implications around in my head. I would have my family, the family that I'd missed having growing up and had found three years ago. And Susan. I wondered if it really had been the thirteen hundred year age gap that had bothered her or, as I guessed, a response to her untimely forced departure. Now that we knew she wouldn't have to leave, would she be willing to try? The others were coming out of their stupefied states, and as we settled in to talk about the news, I realized that I felt lighter.

Lucy curled up and rested her head on Susan's shoulder, looking like the little girl she'd been when we'd first met, while Ed moved off his chair and onto the floor in floor in front of Susan's legs, using her knee as a headrest. I settled into Ed's vacated seat as Peter ran a hand roughly over his face several times.

Susan glanced over at me and smiled, although uncertainty lurked behind the expression. I smiled back, realizing why I felt so much freer. My shoulders stooped less; my stomach didn't ache in quite the same way when I looked at her. I had something back that had vanished along with Susan three long years ago-hope.


	6. A Thought

Chapter Six-A Quiet Thought:

Susan POV:

Two days after the revelation from Aslan I found myself back on the beach at sunrise, unable to sleep with all the thoughts crowding in my head. As the blue-grey duskiness of pre-dawn gave way to the pale pinks and yellows of the actual dawn, I sifted sand through my hands and watched the waves come in and go back out. Several small birds, they looked like sand pipers, pussyfooted around the edges of the waves, digging their bills into the sand looking for breakfast.

I was so happy to be back home in Narnia, and to never have to leave…it was my dream from two weeks ago come true. Narnia felt safer, more secure than Earth ever had once I became aware of the atrocities occurring daily around me. So being ensconced in Narnia, Aslan so much closer than he'd ever felt in England or America, I should have been thrilled.

And I was. But there was a lingering pain, a persistent shadow over my joy-our parents. They had just lost all their children, right when the family was supposed to be reunited, finally. What must they be going through, back on Earth? Had they even found out about it, or was it now only seconds after when we left? I couldn't bear the thought of them hurting, but the idea that they were going about their day, totally oblivious to the tragedy about to befall them also made my chest ache.

I sighed, and in the space before my next breath, heard heavy footfalls in the sand. Peter plopped down next to me and sighed too, then began sifting through the sand next to my own little pile. "You couldn't sleep either, huh?" he asked, dusting his hands off before beginning a twisting pattern in the dry sand.

"No. I keep thinking about Mum and Dad. What they must be going through…or them not even knowing yet." I admitted.

"I know. I've been thinking the same things. And Lucy came into my room at four this morning complaining about a nightmare. She's missing them more than she ever did when we visited. She even asked me to sit with her until she went to sleep. After that, I was wide awake."

I nodded, and dropped my head onto his shoulder. "I never thought about what it would be like to leave Mum and Dad forever when I dreamed of coming back."

"I know Su. And I know how you feel. But we're here now…they would want us to be happy."

The sun burst over the horizon, lighting the water on fire. The light shone into the dark places in my mind, the back corners where thoughts of my future with Caspian had been simmering ever since Aslan had spoken to me. Peter was right, they would want us to be happy, and although I had been shoving the thoughts down to deal with later for the last forty-eight hours, Caspian was a very real chance at that happiness.

I just needed to let my guard down and see if he still wanted in. But maybe I could find that out _before_ I let my guard down all the way.

"Pete…?" I singsonged in a sugar-sweet voice.

"Yes Susan?" Peter responded warily.

"Has Caspian…said…anything to you?"

"Yes." I perked up. "He's said lots of things to me." He continued. "He told me just the other day that the three of us blokes have to go see the tailor about clothes for that ball in a few weeks. And last night he mentioned that the cook said we're having salmon tonight." Peter grinned down at me, then appeared to remember something, "Oh! The other day he said Ed looked like he'd grown again."

I glared. He smirked.

"And that's about it." He finished.

"Pete!" I said, exasperated. Everybody thought I was so sweet and kind. Susan, the Gentle Queen. And I was. But I was also headstrong and jaded and, at the moment, ticked off with my not-so-innocent brother, who was attempting to appear completely blasé.

"Su, this is between the two of you. Open up to him and see what happens, okay? You won't have to leave again, and you both need to move on. You guys just have to figure out if that is going to be with each other, or not.

"I know Aslan said we were supposed to live out our lives in our world, but this place has felt more like home to me than it ever did after we came here the first time. Life may not have gone according to plan, but this isn't the end of the world. In fact, I think it's a pretty good start. No matter what happens, we all have each other, and Aslan."

"I love you Peter. I'm glad you're my brother, and I'm glad you're here." I said, overcome suddenly by the realization that one or the other of us could have picked Ed and Lu up on our own and the other would still be in America, the sole surviving Pevensie child. Or the train accident could have happened on the way there, leaving Lu and Ed behind. We really were lucky, to all be here together, even with the loss of our parents.

"I love you too Susan."

As we watched the sun ascend and the dolphins play, I remembered the last time we'd been in Narnia, and replayed all the memories I had of Caspian. They had grown bittersweet when I had believed we'd never meet again. Now they returned to their former pureness, not tainted by an impossible barrier. Maybe now we could make some new memories.


	7. A Quiet Word

Chapter 7: A Quiet Word-Susan

Three days after my sunrise talk with Pete I still hadn't had a chance to speak with Caspian. Lucy and I were coming out of the tailor's rooms, fresh from ball gown fittings, when I smacked straight into a man's hard chest. I reeled back, and Caspian darted an arm out, hooking me around the waist a moment before I would have lost my balance completely and crashed to the floor. My left hand was wrenched from Lucy's, and she darted her eyes back and forth between Caspian and I before grinning deviously behind his back and continuing down the hall without me, almost skipping.

Only seconds had pasted since I'd collided with him, and I lifted my eyes from the floor to his. "Sorry." I apologized sheepishly. He smiled slowly at me, the expression seeming to warm his eyes as he unhurriedly removed his arm from my waist.

"Are you all right?" he asked courteously. I nodded quickly. He paused, seeming to weigh his words before he spoke. "Walk with me?" he finally asked, rather formally, after a few moments, during which I'd only managed to stare at the frown lines puckering his forehead. I found myself nodding again, before the words had even had a chance to register in my brain. He could have asked me if I could fly and I would have said yes if he were looking at me like that.

We wandered through the halls, talking about the upcoming ball, and soon found ourselves outside and in the citrus grove again. The mid-morning sun was softened by the trees, and the scent of the blooms permeated the air.

I snuck a glance over at him, both wondering how to bring up our kiss two years-three for him- previously and trying to summon my courage to broach the subject of what it might mean now. Before I could ruminate on the subject any longer I spotted a wayward branch sticking out into the path directly in front of my face. I quickly ducked, then swerved when I still saw it looming, which sent me bumping into Caspian's arm, hand hitting his. Before I could move away he meshed his fingers between mine. I glanced up at him quickly and found him watching me, the warm look from the hall back on his face, but no hint of a smile. He was all seriousness.

"Susan," he began, continuing up the path towards the orange trees. "I…I don't know if your feelings have changed over the last three years…or if you ever had more than fleeting feelings for me,"

I opened my mouth to express my shock that he'd ever thought I'd just had a crush, but he held up his free hand in a silent entreaty to let him continue.

"I did not want to spring this on you the first day or week you were here, but I cannot stand the thought that you might believe me indifferent to your presence here." He came to a halt and gently pulled me around to face him. "I never forgot you Susan. I missed you every day you weren't here; I couldn't stand the thought of spending even an hour with the princesses our neighboring kings insisted on parading through Cair Paravel. " he paused, searching my face. I feared I was gaping at him. "Just say the word and I will never speak of this again. Your brothers and sister are like family to me, and I want us all to be able to be together, however that is." He stepped back a pace and started to withdrawn his fingers from between mine, face open but guarded, giving me space to take his words in. I couldn't speak past the lump in my throat, but I _had_ to say something. He'd spent three years...not exactly waiting, since we'd believed it hopeless, but still, wishing for _me_. The thought sent a flare of warmth through me, straight to my heart, and I tightened my fingers around his hand as I tried to swallow the lump down. He stepped back, brown eyes intent on my own, a strand of hair falling into his face as a gleam of hope lit like a spark inside those beautiful brown eyes.

"I missed you too." I could feel a blush creeping over my face as I stared down at our linked hands. After a few beats of silence he cleared his throat and asked "How did you miss me?"

When I didn't say anything his free hand found my chin, tilting my face up towards his and away from the ground. "How did you miss me?" he persisted. I sighed. I knew what he wanted to know. Had I missed him the way he'd missed me, had I been unable to look at other men, or had he been a fleeting thought once or twice?

"I cried. So, so much. No one but my siblings understood why I was so upset suddenly. Then Pete and I went to America and Lu and Ed stayed in England, and Mum and Dad…I tried to hide it, but they worried. Peter was the only one left who_ knew_, and he spent more nights up late comforting me than I can count." I took a deep breath. The next words were so quiet I barely heard them. "My heart wasn't breaking; I didn't even have it. I left it here, in Narnia. With you."

He pulled his hand from mine.

Then suddenly I was in the air, being spun around in his arms. His grin looked like it might split his face as he set me down on the ground again. His hands slid from my waist, and I barely had time to miss the warmth of them before he brought them up to cradle my face.

He kissed me sweetly, lips just a whisper against my own as my hand came to rest on his neck.

"I dreamed of that for three years." He whispered, forehead resting against my own. I stroked the soft hair curling against the nape of his neck and smiled up at him. "So did I." Just quiet little words, but they meant so much.

_A/N: Sorry it's been so long, I should be posting the next few chapters fairly quickly. _

_Thanks to everyone who's left a review on the previous chapters, they make my day :)_

_Let me know what you think! _


End file.
